A Mother.... A Hero

What an excitement it is when you hear the news that you are having a baby. Having a baby is the most beautiful thing there is. Many emotions come our way. The happiness of having kids is so great but then as they start growing there comes the challenges of trying to teach them the right path to follow. Motherhood is awesome but it’s also such a hard job. Being a mother of 3 I have to say I have never felt as tired as I do these days. Sometimes the days seem so long and hard that bedtime can’t come any sooner. I have had moments where I have screamed at my kids. I have had moments where I wish I could run away for a day or so and forget everything. I have had moments where I locked myself in a room and cry my eyes out or just put myself in time out. I have had moments where I felt I was the worst mom ever. As a mother of 2 adoptive children I have had moments where I felt that they weren’t my kids and I didn’t have to treat them like I treated my own. I came to a time were almost every day I woke up angry, overwhelm, frustrated and sad at the same time. Almost every day I wanted to run out of who I was and who I had become .….. but then……………….. at the end of the day I felt mad at myself for doing and feeling the way I was feeling. At the end of the day I felt that it didn’t matter what my kids did or say it was all my fault. My kids didn’t tell me how I needed to react about the situation. I was the one who decided what to do about it. At the end of the day it didn’t matter if my kids were adopted or not they all 3 are the light of my life. I had made a commitment with Heavenly Father that I would take care of his children here on earth. At the end of the day I love them all so much that I have to become a better mom for them every day. I came to understand that it wasn’t heavenly father the one who wanted me to feel this way. It wasn’t heavenly father telling me to scream at my kids when I did. It was Satan who wanted me to feel what a bad mother I was. I still have days where I feel this way but I know heavenly father is there and all I have to do is get on my knees and pray to him to help me ignore this feelings and try to teach my kids the right path. I understand that motherhood doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It doesn’t mean you have to be a superhero. It doesn’t mean you have to be like the moms that seems to have time for everything you always wanted to do. It doesn’t mean you are a bad mom every time you make a mistake. Teaching your kids isn’t easy. When they make a mistake it’s not easy to control your anger and talk to them. When you are mad words that you wouldn’t want to say come out of your mouth without thinking about them. I still have days where I do and say things that I wouldn’t want to but I know as long as we are humans we are going to make mistakes. No matter how many bad moments I have during the day I would never change any of the moments I have had with my kids. They have change my life forever and it doesn’t matter how many headaches they give me they are always the people I want around me every day. Heavenly Father has trust us to care for some of his children here on earth. We are bless to have each of our children with us. I remember with each of my 5 pregnancies that I lost I always thought once I had kids I would be the best mom ever. Often I find myself thinking I’m not close to be the mother I want to be. This is a hard path but it’s a path we aren’t alone in. We are never alone. Our children look up to us for direction just like we look up to heavenly father. No matter how hard it is I will always pray that I can be a better mother every day. Just remember you don’t need to be a super hero to everybody as long as you can be a hero for you children… and it really doesn’t take that much for your kids to consider you a hero! So if you are trying hard to be a perfect mom or a mom like someone else you know... stop.. just try to be a better mom every day, your kids will always love you and I am sure you are already a hero for them.